More necessary than Mr. at the start of a pet name

This blog is not designed to be a comprehensive financial education, it is not designed to try to explain to you the difference between a straddle and a strangle option strategy or to allow you to thrust your massive finance boner into the sweet sweet nether regions of lady ignorance. It is designed to serve as a crutch for whenever someone expounds that "the fed cut rates again today, anyone who is long the US dollar should be having terror poos right now" you can offer something up to the conversation instead of "yeaaaa.... tooooootally" and watching as the new intern spouts something about "the Fed sacrificing the dollar like a virgin in Tenochtitlan" to raucous laughter and admiring glances.


This blog is aimed at a wide multitude of demographics and stereotypes: the graduated fraternity gentlemen who can no longer solely rely on rakish charm, boyish good looks, or a money beirut shot to get by in social situations. Let's face it, college is the tits and you need nothing more than the ability to binge drink enough for a small island nation and a wide array of boner synonyms to succeed but, come on Peter Pan, everyone has to grow up at some point. It’s aimed at middle aged people with kids who needs ways to explain stuff to their teenagers without resorting to a poor choice of props (that picture of Grandma and the frog fetus in a jar? Common man) and still like to titter girlishly at weiner jokes. It’s aimed at the the hipster, whose usual currency is irony, but also needs to simultaneously understand how to maximize his/her neon wayfarer consumption. It's aimed at human resource graduate girls who can absolutely still rely on a big bountiful heaving mass of boobage all mashed together to.... get.... but..... what?..... uhhhhh you can read it too! Most importantly, it's aimed at anyone who’s had the realization that the force that simultaneously holds the world together and tears it apart is finance and economics and its time you had more knowledge about it than that talking condom mug you're drinking out of right now.

A few things for you my friends to get your minds around:

- Over the course of this blog I will use a buttload of examples because it’s the easiest way to explain shit. The real world is complicated and filled with things that are shiny and distracting so for the purpose of your sanity my examples will assume a world that consists solely of two simple delicious commodities; Big League Chew and fountain Dr. Pepper, other details will be added as necessary.

- You know what shields ignorance like nothing else (except boobs THEY shield ignorance like nothing else, but aside from those)? Motherfucking buzzwords. A well dropped and appropriately used buzzword ratchets up your finance street cred immeasurably. So as I’m droppin’ hot knowledge on you I’ll make sure to point out gangster buzzwords with an Ignorance Shielding Buzzword Alert (ISBA). Write a few of these down and you can add some hood-ass rings to Adam Smith’s invisible hand (you’ll get that joke later, or go google it now... I’ll wait.)